cause maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

10:59pm: love, your baby girl
I love my boyfriend
more then anything
he is
amazing
smart
adorable
hot
charming
sweet
funny



im lucky
very lucky



*smiles*

10:20am: and i swear i felt more then the rain
i miss living in the city..

10:18pm: lifepartner
whitney mcp: highpoint of my week: us comparing pant lengh in front of god and everybody

10:37pm: implode
well its been while now hasent it?

So im in Rome for the summer, and im loving every second of it. It was hard at first im not gonna lie. But now, its ok, its getting better. It was time that i came home and took care of everything. It had been awhile since i have been home for more then 2 weeks. Its weird. quiet. More so then in past years. But in a way ok. We got a dog, Albert hes amazing. Hes a good fit with us. Makes the house seem not so empty. Im working with special ed kids for the summer, and i love it. I have fallen for these kids. Its hard work but wonderful at the same time. And Whitney and i are working together, not in the same room or anything, but we get to eat lunch together. Its a good time. Adam is good, great really. Im going back to school in the fall. Its time for that. Im going to the gym. Im doing well. Im doig what i should. Its good.



well
enough for now.



xoxox
megan kate

1:02am: blah
frustrated

10:16pm: meh
Im in a very meh mood.
I dont like that much.
Im in Rome till tomorrow.
Its nice.
I miss Adam though.
And my roommates.
And my kitty.


I had the most wretched migrane last night.
like sobbing from the pain of it.
I shold really get that looked at.


I should really go to sleep

8:54pm: this the story of a girl.
6 months already


hard to believe


still feels like a piece of me is missing

5:43pm: tears stain the wood
it needs to be summer like now.
im over this weather.
im over it being hot then cold.
im brunette again.
im so wishy washy.

and.........


im out

6:22pm: Meh
i am so freaking sick at the moment.
it sucks.
i got a kitten.
her name is Kit.
Shes not really a kitten.
but i still call her that.
shes swell.
im home.
its good.
im hot.
im tired.
and my throat hurts.
ahh well.
ill live.




till next time
megan kate

11:07pm: god only knows what i'd do without you
surviving at the moment

3:54am: tears stain the wood
its 4 am.
im annoyed.
im awake.
and mad at the world.
im home.
and loving every second of it.
i miss my dad.
alot.
i miss whitney.
i miss being home.
i feel like crying.
i feel like screaming.

"she feels like kicking out all the windows"

sometimes i never want to leave here.
but sometimes i never want to come back.
this is one of the i never want to leave times.


i got sneakers today.
and work out clothes.
and a few other things.

I go back to Poughkeepsie on monday.
i go back to work on tuesday.
im over panera.
but i like the soup still.
im feeling like falling apart.

i hate when people drink.
and i hate not being called.
since turning 21 i have only been drunk on my birthday.
because its my birthday and i needed to be.
the day before my dads funeral.
for obvious reasons.
and new years.
cause its new years and you are allowed.
im kind of turned off to it all now.
man a few summers ago.
i was all about it.
i was drunk for like 3 months straight.
ahh well.
people change.
grow up.
but everyone slips up now and again.
thats fine.

im wide awake now.
that sucks so bad.
im so fucking tired.
way to have anxiety megan.
way to be.



fuck.

6:57pm: all i wanna do
i have a job
im going to the gym



im surviving at the moment

11:17pm: when theres nothing we can do
im lost


and numb






awesome

9:23am: fa la la la la la la la
its christmas eve.
dosent feel likt it.
this week has been so much harder then i thought it was going to be.
blah.




its over soon..






peace
megan

11:37am: crying crying crying
why the hell does everyone have to be so damn sad all the time?




i cant deal with that.

12:41pm: She was his girl....
I have a christmas tree
And im going to see The Dave Matthews Band Friday and Saturday at Madison Square Garden
And i can drive myself anywhere i want.

yay for me

9:11pm: 2 turtle doves
its snowing..
that makes my heart smile..


im making cookies tomorrow.
it makes me sad that whitney is not going to be there to make them with me.


Christmas Time is here!

9:42pm: why whitney and i are life partners
whitneymcp: its red its green
whitneymcp: details
DMBLillywhite41: i did that on perpis
DMBLillywhite41: thats not even close
whitneymcp: and thats why you are my favorite



DMBLillywhite41: what would you like for christmas little girl
whitneymcp: A PONY A DOLLY AND A MAKE-UP KIT

8:54pm: i met ariel
disney world is my favorite place ever.


that is all.

9:58pm: when you wish upon a star
i am so going to Disney World tomorrow!

1:32pm: good morning mr. sunshine
Today i have been rather productive, for the first time in awhile.. I do stuff.. But today.. im on a roll.. I cleaned out my other roomamtes room of all the crap that i threw in there after i moved in.. They are currently in Italy till the beg of December so i needed to clean up and get my stuff ready to be shipped back to good old rome. So I did that and then i had a giant pile of laundry that needed to be done.. I cant actually do it till adam gets home because he needs to have thigns washed and im not sure what he needs but i seperated the pile into light, dark, and jeans.. Im such a house wife sometimes..


This is the first time i have felt good in awhile.. The past week its been hard.. All i ahve wanted to do was be with my mom.. But shes ok. So i realy dont need to worry about her. Shes good.. As bad as things are they are getting better.. Just one day at a time i guess..


im in love with this singer named Lori Mckenna.. Shes brilliant.. Look into her.. I highly recommend it..


im going to disney world on thursday.. I dont think I could be more excited about it.. We are staying at one of the disney hotels and im just so excited. I havent been since i was really little.. I dont remember much of it.. But the past few days i have been thinjing about it alot.. And i keep getting these memories about when i went with my mom and dad and matthew.. And i remember having so much fun.. And being so happy.. thinking abck like that makes me miss my dad alot. But its ok.. I mean at least ih ave thoes kind of memories to look back on.. In a way it gives me a calm feeling.. Its weird. Im just so excited to go.. And to get to go with Adam which is like triple exciting.. EEEEEEEE!!! im stoaked.. im iffy about flying but ill live im sure.. we are flying out of newark at 6 on thursday. We are going to MGM on friday and then the magic kingdom on Saturday.. so excited..


then on either monday or tuesday im going home to rome.. and then we are leaving to go to virginia on wednsday for thanksgiving. That was always my dads favorite thing to do. Going to Virginia for thanksgiving.. Friday my aunt tammy and my mom always go shopping and my dad would takt matthew, trish, chrissy, laurel and me to the movies and the mall.. We are still going this year..I thinkw e are seeing Harry Potter.. But imthinking of taking Trish to see Rent on wednsday night just the 2 of us.. Cause shes a theatre nerd much thanks to me.. we will see.. This is the longest entry i have done in a really long time.. I guess thats a good thing.. i dont know.. ok well i think im going to go and be productive.


till next time
megan kate

6:36pm: so here we are thats pretty far
10 months.


and still almost perfect?


lucky.


im lucky.



thats all i can really say.

11:51am: HEY HEY HEY!!!
im going to disney world!
im going to disney world!








really happy for the first time in awhile

8:30pm: its electric
slowly getting back to normal.

10:32pm: cant believe
its over.
and its going to be ok.